Monthly Archives: June 2017

Reasons to date a zombie if you keep an open mind

‘Tis the season to run away from zombies — or date them.

If you keep an open mind, you might discover that a zombie is who you’ve been looking for all along.

(But still be careful. Date at your own risk.)

13 reasons to date a zombie:

1. Are you accident prone? Date a zombie and there’s little chance you’ll accidentally kill him/her.

2. Related to number 1: Everyone will understand if you kill your date.

3. Your date will be happy to see you. He might even come running.

4. If you tend to overheat in cuddling situations, a cold-blooded date will be a refreshing change.

5. You’ll be the graceful one in the relationship. And the prettiest.

6. To zombies, age is just a number. You’re alive. That’s all that matters.

7. Related to number 5: Zombies aren’t threatened by your work successes, have commitment issues or whine about your needy friends. They’re just happy you’re alive.

8. Got enemies? Are they alive? Not anymore.

9. Sick of wondering if last night’s date will call? Zombies are pursuers. You won’t have to wonder if he/she is interested.

10. Zombies are inspiring. They know what they want and they do what it takes to get it.

11. Dating a zombie is dangerous — but bad boys are sexy, right?

12. Zombies are trendy. They currently have more street cred than vampires.

13. Dinner is easy – just add brains to the ingredient list and you are good to go.

Reason to believe again on your relationship

I’ve been reading some of the articles on your web site and thought I would take a chance here.  My wife and I are in the process of getting a divorce. She is divorcing me because she claims she fell out of love with me and no longer wants to be tied down. We have 2 children ages 8 and 10.  Next week the kids are off from school for the week because of vacation. I took the week off to be with them.

The problem for me is I have to spend the majority of my time with them at my old house that I lived in with my wife and kids. I’ll be losing the home in the divorce and it hurts to stay there with the kids. I live with my father at the moment and he just doesn’t really have the room for me to take them for the entire week. My wife and I talk quite a bit about things and she is the only one that wants the divorce. I’m trying to figure out ways to be able to make the marriage still work but feel like I am fighting a losing battle. I’m hoping maybe with me being back at the house even temporarily that it may bring back some feelings for her. As I said, she just doesn’t want to be married but I can’t come up with any arguments for her to want to stay. We still have to deal with each other constantly because of the kids. What can I do to give her reason to believe in us again?

We are at the point right now where we will probably have to sell the home because neither of us can come up with enough to buy the other out of the equity in the house.  I’m torn. Part of me says why try and stay with someone that clearly doesn’t want me anymore? She claims there was never that crazy in love feeling. Yet she still wants to have sex with me on occasion and do things together with her and the kids. I did love her but now I’m like what am I fighting for anymore. Losing the house, her and the security of family life that I charish so much.

Yet there is something inside of me that wants this to work out. We’ve been discussing the relationship but she’s been pretty much content to be on her own. I can see why because I spend Tuesday night, Wednesday night, and Friday thru Saturday with the kids. I pay half of my take home pay to the household to help support her and the kids and the dogs. Plus I still have to pay for where I am staying at. She doesn’t want to lose the house and disrupt the kids anymore than they already have been but my stance on that is the kids have already been disrupted and its better to change things drastically for them now than when they get older and can’t deal with the changes as well. She won’t do counseling cause she doesn’t believe in it and I am at a loss for what to do. I don’t want to stay where I’m not wanted and I don’t feel I should lose out on everything I have worked for in the last ten + years just to make her happy and make her decision to divorce easier on her. I’m not trying to hurt the kids so how do I protect myself and them at the same time?

Divorced Singles Know for Sure

No one enters a marriage thinking they will one day get divorced. Generally, all men and women get married bright-eyed and open-hearted, believing that divorce happens to other people. But if the well-known statistic is true, nearly half of marriages end this way.

Everyone who has been through it will admit that divorce is extremely painful, stressful, and disorienting. Thankfully, many people grow and learn through the process, gaining wisdom they may not have otherwise achieved. The lessons include:

 

Healing takes time, but it will happen.

People who have experienced a hard breakup must work through their grief and pain before they can fully recover and move on. It takes effort, and it takes time. But at the end of the journey, you will be equipped to step into a brighter future.

 

Holding on only prolongs the pain.

Intentional action is needed to confirm to yourself–and potential new partners–that you’ve made a clean break with the past. You will always have memories and experiences that surface at various times, but failing to emotionally let go of your ex or the life you had will hinder you from finding joy and new love.

 

Every meaningful relationship brings risk and rewards.

After a painful breakup, you might feel that the risks of dating are too big and the rewards too small. It’s true that every romantic relationship carries the danger of heartache–but when you find the right person in the future, the benefits will far outweigh any risks.

 

A painful breakup will make you grateful when you find a great love.

Once the dust settles after a rough split, people usually realize what they had been missing from the relationship and how much things had gone awry. When you find a wonderful new love and a healthy relationship, you’ll be more grateful than ever before.

 

“Failure” is often a step forward.

When you are open and intentional about learning from your relational demise, you can develop into a far better person. Every lesson learned is one that makes you more ready to handle real love when it comes along.

 

Personal growth is a lifelong endeavor.

Many people emerge from a tough breakup eager to get back into the dating market and find a new (better) partner. But what these people need most of all is time to work on themselves, determine what went wrong, and develop personal qualities that would ensure a fulfilling, lasting relationship next time around.

 

Gratitude is the antidote for all kinds of pain.

Experiencing the end of a serious relationship can leave people embittered and angry. Practicing intentional gratitude shifts us toward a healthy perspective. A life characterized by genuine gratitude brings so many benefits—emotional health, inner peace, stronger relationships, and less anxiety.

Truly Compatible And Why That Matters

For many people hoping and seeking lasting love, trying to crack the code of “compatibility” is just as likely to create confusion as clarity. That’s because, for all the tidy checklists and online quizzes meant to gauge a couple’s compatibility, in reality, it’s a complex interplay between psychology, biology, and a host of intangibles that resist easy characterization.

Does that mean compatibility is overrated as a cornerstone of healthy relationships? Definitely not.

But neither is compatibility a simple series of boxes you check off and forget about. It turns out your key “must-haves” and “can’t-stands” can line up quite well — and you still rub each other the wrong way. You may both be avid skiers, but if you can’t amicably decide where to go on your next vacation, then “compatibility” in that respect counts for very little.

It’s important to remind yourself alignment will never be perfect, and success ultimately depends on how you handle remaining differences. It’s about your temperament, disposition, and attitude — whether you are able to believe the best about each other, support each other even when disagreeing, and allow your values to grow and change when necessary. Where those qualities are concerned, compatibility is not something you have, it’s something you make — together.

As you consider the following domains of compatibility, think about how each can be approached with love, compassion, understanding, and flexibility. Here are six core categories to examine, to be sure you start with a baseline of important shared values with a prospective life partner:

 

Lifestyle.

A host of things fall under this umbrella — from eating habits to hygiene to your respective attitudes about substance use. If your idea of a perfect weekend is popcorn and old movies on the sofa, and your partner pushes you to join her in the mosh pits of the city’s punk rock clubs, you may be headed for trouble. On the other hand, you may still be compatible if you can give each other the freedom to enjoy your differences apart.

 

Finances.

Of all the goals you will set and work toward together, money management is arguably the most important. That’s because, in one way or another, it touches practically everything else. Do you need to talk bank accounts on the first date? Of course not. But within the first few weeks, it’s important to get even a basic understanding of your potential partners’s financial picture and outlook.

 

Politics and religion.

A defining characteristic of an inclusive, democratic society is the ability to calmly consider all points of view. In a romantic relationship, however, some issues are likely to produce divisions too wide to span. Be honest from the beginning about your potentially polarizing beliefs.

 

Family and children.

By far the biggest, most important, and most demanding project you’ll undertake together is having and raising children. Long before the first child arrives, make sure you can agree on key parenting values and goals.

 

Intelligence.

This is not to say you must always think alike, but that you should be able to think with similar tools of education and reasoning at your disposal. A divide will inevitably open in a relationship when one partner feels consistently outsmarted and outgunned in conversation.