Truly Compatible And Why That Matters

For many people hoping and seeking lasting love, trying to crack the code of “compatibility” is just as likely to create confusion as clarity. That’s because, for all the tidy checklists and online quizzes meant to gauge a couple’s compatibility, in reality, it’s a complex interplay between psychology, biology, and a host of intangibles that resist easy characterization.

Does that mean compatibility is overrated as a cornerstone of healthy relationships? Definitely not.

But neither is compatibility a simple series of boxes you check off and forget about. It turns out your key “must-haves” and “can’t-stands” can line up quite well — and you still rub each other the wrong way. You may both be avid skiers, but if you can’t amicably decide where to go on your next vacation, then “compatibility” in that respect counts for very little.

It’s important to remind yourself alignment will never be perfect, and success ultimately depends on how you handle remaining differences. It’s about your temperament, disposition, and attitude — whether you are able to believe the best about each other, support each other even when disagreeing, and allow your values to grow and change when necessary. Where those qualities are concerned, compatibility is not something you have, it’s something you make — together.

As you consider the following domains of compatibility, think about how each can be approached with love, compassion, understanding, and flexibility. Here are six core categories to examine, to be sure you start with a baseline of important shared values with a prospective life partner:



A host of things fall under this umbrella — from eating habits to hygiene to your respective attitudes about substance use. If your idea of a perfect weekend is popcorn and old movies on the sofa, and your partner pushes you to join her in the mosh pits of the city’s punk rock clubs, you may be headed for trouble. On the other hand, you may still be compatible if you can give each other the freedom to enjoy your differences apart.



Of all the goals you will set and work toward together, money management is arguably the most important. That’s because, in one way or another, it touches practically everything else. Do you need to talk bank accounts on the first date? Of course not. But within the first few weeks, it’s important to get even a basic understanding of your potential partners’s financial picture and outlook.


Politics and religion.

A defining characteristic of an inclusive, democratic society is the ability to calmly consider all points of view. In a romantic relationship, however, some issues are likely to produce divisions too wide to span. Be honest from the beginning about your potentially polarizing beliefs.


Family and children.

By far the biggest, most important, and most demanding project you’ll undertake together is having and raising children. Long before the first child arrives, make sure you can agree on key parenting values and goals.



This is not to say you must always think alike, but that you should be able to think with similar tools of education and reasoning at your disposal. A divide will inevitably open in a relationship when one partner feels consistently outsmarted and outgunned in conversation.


No excuse should be a barrier in going into a bisexual relationship. Are you about settling into a bi-sexual relationship or you are into it, and it seems things don’t go well with your partner? Or is your decision imbalance? Then, bisexual websites can be consulted by logging in and surfing on one. You might also be a timid type because not everyone likes to discuss things going on in their personal life with people especially face to face. Bisexual sites will do justice to all your heartaches, and a relief, and a smile await you.
Visiting bisexual websites makes it very easy, fast and affordable (most times free) to receive bi-sexual dating tips.

Loyalty and honesty are best practiced in bisexuality relationships because bisexuals don’t cheat and they are always committed to their partners. You don’t get to worry about a bisexual woman getting along with another woman, and you don’t have to worry about a bisexual man getting along with another man.
Bisexual sexual orientation is that they are known to fall in love with a person and not the gender. Personality matters to bisexuals, and that’s why they are often loyal in their affairs. The idea of bisexuality and homosexuality is open to many individuals, and they are yet to observe any significance about the two sexual orientation. The idea of bisexual dating shouldn’t be something people are skeptical about and as a bisexual, you don’t have to be defenseless and keep denying your sexual orientation.

It is imperative for you to know that the very first thing you should know is the type of man/woman you want. The consequence of not knowing the kind of man or woman you want in a bi-dating relationship might end you up in a big shit. There are many bisexuals out there that will end you up in a bad relationship. Make sure you know what your achievements are with the bisexual partner you are dating. There are many bisexuals online who are attractive and eventually end up in a bad relationship, and there are some who are not attractive and yet end up in a good relationship. Some bisexuals might look ideally at first sight (profile pictures) on bi dating site, and you might easily fall in love with him/her without a rethink. So, learn to take it slow with that bisexual partner.

Bisexual dating/affair boils down to bisexual’s personalities and interests in whichever sex they choose as a partner. Bisexuals do not doubt their sexuality once they are sure of it and have confessed about it. You don’t ask a bi-woman whether she’s bisexual or not as you don’t ask a straight woman whether she’s straight or not.
Expect improvements about bi-sexual relationships you might have engaged in or about to engage in if only these tips are adopted.

Rejection in Intimate Relationships

Rejection is painful no matter where it comes from, but it is especially hurtful when it comes from your partner… The one that knows you the most and is meant to love ALL of you deeply. Rejection is one of the hardest feelings to experience because it often plays on your mind non-stop, like a stuck broken record… scratching away at you and your sanity.

This is how it used to be for me anyway and having supported 1000’s of people now, I know I am not alone.
My partner would rather watch re-runs of TV than want to spend time or make love to me. It hurt. As he sat there glued to the TV and his laptop day after day, night after night. I felt angry, frustrated and alone.

Then the real gremlins crept in, I started to wonder what is wrong with me. Was I unattractive, perhaps too fat, too old, too boring or could there be someone else? I would spiral into negative doubts about myself.

Then at the same time, I would shift the blame back to my partner. “There is something wrong with him”, I would say to myself he was an addict, a geek, abnormal and lazy.
The more I switched back and forth from self-blame to blame the more low energy I was pumping into our relationship and my life. It was like I was poisoning myself from the inside out, with no antidote to save me or us. The whole relationship felt doomed and my self-esteem plummeted. I felt wounded and could not shake it.
I remember searching online for some support and stumbled along an article that gave advice saying to
Sit your partner down and tell them how horrible they are making you feel.

Let them know how much pain they are causing
Tell them you want more attention, affection and intimacy
I spoke to well-meaning friends and they said the same thing. Talk it through and point out to him what he is doing wrong…

So I did.

It backfired on me massively.

I didn’t know back then what I do now otherwise I NEVER would have followed it.

He felt attacked and “our talk” pushed us further apart. Of course, he already knew something had shifted in our relationship and he didn’t need it thrown back in his face. After “the talk” we both started analysing the relationship and each other’s behaviour, even more, watching out for any negative signs and actions.
When you look for something you find it!

Small things become big things!

We started to drift further apart, until it was more comfortable to live separate lives, in separate rooms. Low-frequency energy was pouring into the home and relationship like smoke from a fire, drowning us.
I failed to see back then, that my way of handling rejection was making the whole situation worse. That I was lighting this fire we were choking on.

Since then I have been on an extensive transformational 9-year journey of healing, research and self-discovery. During these years I studied psychology, relationships, counselling, hypnotherapy, meditation, cellular healing, life coaching, conflict resolution, grief and loss, yoga and that’s not all of it. I spent literally 1000’s and 1000’s of dollars and even more hours to find out what works and what doesn’t when it comes to transforming a relationship. and now having helped couples all over the world online to rebuild love and trust, I want to share a few tips. These work whether the relationship is suffering from a lack of affection and intimacy, financial conflict, family interference, cultural clashes, addictions or poor communication.

How to get your self-esteem back

One of the many things we struggle with as we learn to recover from a break-up is learning how to rebuild our self-esteem.

It’s easy to understand why this is such an issue. When your relationship ends, you may feel rejected. You may feel unworthy. You sit crying on your coach, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s at hand, wondering why your partner does not love you anymore. You may think, as you’re stumbling through the list of to-do’s and stress of everything else going on in your life, that nobody will ever find you attractive and worthy of love.

But I am here to tell you to knock that bullshit off, because it’s simply not true.

Never forget for a second that you are a bad-ass and that you are strong and beautiful.
So, today, as we get a quick lesson on rebuilding our self-esteem, you need to embrace the following self-esteem revelation.

What happened to you does not define you.

Ending a relationship is not fun. It causes us to question who we are, what we thought our life was, and where we are in this universe. We tend to define ourselves solely within the terms of being a partner and we become dependent on that position as a mean to validate ourselves. We start to place our entire value on being a spouse, rather than putting that focus on something healthy—the independent, kind person that you are.

So it’s no surprise that our self-esteem shatters when the one pillar we have used to define ourselves goes away. We make this false connection that end of a relationship = bad unworthy person. It’s no wonder why you’re feeling like crap.

But think about this for a second. When you stumbled and sprained your ankle that one time, the way you defined yourself didn’t go negative just because your ankle hurt. And if you were ever in a car accident, or if you have ever been hospitalized, you didn’t tie your identity and your self-worth into that one event happening in your life. Hell no. You knew that it was an inconvenience, but you were soon back to life.

So, why don’t you treat your break-up the same way? Sure, this is a hiccup in your life. But that doesn’t mean that you are any less of a person, or somehow not worthy or self-respect and love because you’re going through this situation. It’s quite the opposite. The fact that you have the grace to navigate through this stressful time, and the strength to carry on and taking care of everything else you have going on speaks volumes of your character, of your intellect, and your all-around awesomeness. You should applaud yourself for the amazing job you’re doing and give yourself credit.

But if you’re still struggling with rebuilding your self-esteem, I understand. And because it can be difficult to change your mindset, I have a few exercises for you!
Reclaiming your Self- Esteem Exercise: Embracing the fact that you’re freakin’ amazing.

Step 1: List all the things that you’re good at.

Don’t be shy with this one! Every day, you no doubt accomplish things that would cause others to whimper—things that you most likely don’t give yourself credit for. But it’s time to change that. What are things that you know you rock at? This has nothing to do with bragging or being immodest. Acknowledging your awesome skills is an important step to nurture yourself.
If you need some inspiration, take a look at my examples below.

My friends say I’m a good listener.
My mom says that I am good at thinking logically.
I’m a go-getter and know how to take initiative.
I’m good at plan things and getting stuff done.

Dos and Don’ts from Our Favorite Horror Films

If you’re prepping for a first date this Halloween, keep in mind the dating wisdom offered by these classic horror movies.

1. Dating Do: Behave yourself. It’s a general rule that good girls survive. Act accordingly.

2. Dating Don’t: Get drunk. Drunk characters end up playing the fools and victims in horror flicks. You don’t want to be either.

3. Dating Do: Date in public. Head to a restaurant, busy park, or popular hangout spot. Horror movies have taught us that isolated areas, abandoned buildings and hotels in the middle of nowhere — ‘The Shining’, anyone? — are homicidal hot spots.

4. Dating Don’t: Date an addict in the throws of their disease. From Patrick Bateman’s cocaine habit to Hellraiser’s need for fresh blood, addiction is a red flag in the movies and in real life. Addicts need help. Insist your date pursues sobriety before getting sucked into the scary world of addiction.

5. Dating Do: Mean what you say. Don’t tell Jason to “give me your best shot.” You don’t mean it.

6. Dating Don’t: Mistreat women. See: ‘Attack of the 50 Foot Woman’. Yikes.

7. Dating Do: Make first impressions count. Men, showing up for the date in a hockey mask does not prove you’re a dedicated athlete. She will run away — as she should. And, ladies, the obnoxious girl never makes it to the sequel.

8. Dating Don’t: Stay in a uncomfortable situation. If Vincent Price is the host of the dinner party, leave. Send a note of regret later. And if the house itself tells you to leave, do it. Do not pass go.

9. Dating Do: Avoid bleeding heart syndrome. Not every hitchhiker needs your help. Make choices that prioritize self-preservation over heroism.

10. Dating Don’t: Camp at Crystal Lake. Don’t camp there, don’t skinny-dip there, and don’t, under any circumstances, make out there. You will die. (Don’t dig up Jason’s body either.)


Steps to Help You Learn Patience

Frequently, life can become very busy and stressful.   Delayed gratification, or patience, is a skill many of my clients need to learn when life feels overwhelming or difficult; but it isn’t always easy, because it requires patience.  Learning to be patient and remain calm reduces and relieves stress and worry. Cultivating patience is really about mastering impulse control– it’s an issue in self control. You can learn how to do “emotional maintenance” and shake off stress, keep on track of what you want to do, and let go of frustration when something is getting to you. Patience is learning how to wait until you’ve thought before acting and made sure you understand the options and take control of your own ideas and decisions. It’s a growth process, a transformation of self through awareness and learning.

To acquire patience, learn not to act on impulse, but change your thinking and attitude, and reach out for support and encouragement. To learn the necessary patience and determination that enhances your communication, these seven steps will help.

Seven Steps to Help You Learn Patience:

1: Wait: The old advice to “count to 10 before you respond” is a great way to learn patience. Give yourself a chance to give your best response.

2: Use Perspective–put your impulses or desires in perspective– will it be important an hour from now–fifteen minutes from now? Most of them won’t be.

3. Self understanding: If you are tempted to act or speak on impulse, understand that the impulse is normal, but you don’t have to be run by it. Reactions and impulses are normal–it’s how thoughtfully we act on them that counts.

4: Take a longer view: If you’re reacting because someone upset you (e.g.: your partner hurt your feelings) or then give a little prayer of thanks that it wasn’t worse, say a blessing for your partner (who probably needs it) and you’ll feel better. If you are tempted to act impulsively, pause a minute and consider your bigger goal–then decide if the momentary impulse is worth setting back your goal.

5. Give yourself a break: If you act on an impulse before thinking about it, acknowledge that you did it, then forgive yourself and get back on track. If you find yourself acting impulsively a lot, then maybe your goal is too rigid, and you need to allow a little more room for yourself, or to renegotiate the contract with your spouse. (See the following section on expectations.)

6. Consider the source: Impulses are often a reaction to outside circumstances–for example, being annoyed because your partner isn’t available, when you could enjoy using the time you have to yourself. Make sure what you do is what you really want to do.