Rejection in Intimate Relationships

Rejection is painful no matter where it comes from, but it is especially hurtful when it comes from your partner… The one that knows you the most and is meant to love ALL of you deeply. Rejection is one of the hardest feelings to experience because it often plays on your mind non-stop, like a stuck broken record… scratching away at you and your sanity.

This is how it used to be for me anyway and having supported 1000’s of people now, I know I am not alone.
My partner would rather watch re-runs of TV than want to spend time or make love to me. It hurt. As he sat there glued to the TV and his laptop day after day, night after night. I felt angry, frustrated and alone.

Then the real gremlins crept in, I started to wonder what is wrong with me. Was I unattractive, perhaps too fat, too old, too boring or could there be someone else? I would spiral into negative doubts about myself.

Then at the same time, I would shift the blame back to my partner. “There is something wrong with him”, I would say to myself he was an addict, a geek, abnormal and lazy.
The more I switched back and forth from self-blame to blame the more low energy I was pumping into our relationship and my life. It was like I was poisoning myself from the inside out, with no antidote to save me or us. The whole relationship felt doomed and my self-esteem plummeted. I felt wounded and could not shake it.
I remember searching online for some support and stumbled along an article that gave advice saying to
Sit your partner down and tell them how horrible they are making you feel.

Let them know how much pain they are causing
Tell them you want more attention, affection and intimacy
I spoke to well-meaning friends and they said the same thing. Talk it through and point out to him what he is doing wrong…

So I did.

It backfired on me massively.

I didn’t know back then what I do now otherwise I NEVER would have followed it.

He felt attacked and “our talk” pushed us further apart. Of course, he already knew something had shifted in our relationship and he didn’t need it thrown back in his face. After “the talk” we both started analysing the relationship and each other’s behaviour, even more, watching out for any negative signs and actions.
When you look for something you find it!

Small things become big things!

We started to drift further apart, until it was more comfortable to live separate lives, in separate rooms. Low-frequency energy was pouring into the home and relationship like smoke from a fire, drowning us.
I failed to see back then, that my way of handling rejection was making the whole situation worse. That I was lighting this fire we were choking on.

Since then I have been on an extensive transformational 9-year journey of healing, research and self-discovery. During these years I studied psychology, relationships, counselling, hypnotherapy, meditation, cellular healing, life coaching, conflict resolution, grief and loss, yoga and that’s not all of it. I spent literally 1000’s and 1000’s of dollars and even more hours to find out what works and what doesn’t when it comes to transforming a relationship. and now having helped couples all over the world online to rebuild love and trust, I want to share a few tips. These work whether the relationship is suffering from a lack of affection and intimacy, financial conflict, family interference, cultural clashes, addictions or poor communication.